Publications

How to Find a Farm Wife, my debut novel, was published in 2020. It is available on Amazon.com as a Kindle eBook and as a printed book. It's a romantic comedy, and I guarantee that it's packed with sophomoric humor. Also, it's the greatest novel ever written, although I don't guarantee that.
John Kramer is a fifth-generation Kansas farmer. While attending college, he asks Jill Rabinovich out on a date, and the two of them quickly fall in love. But their relationship faces several daunting challenges. He is a rural Republican, and she is a suburban Democrat. He is Catholic, and she is Jewish. He wants her to become his farm wife, but she wants to move to L.A. after finishing her Bachelor’s degree in theater, in order to jump start her careers in stand-up comedy and acting. Is their relationship doomed? Or will they somehow manage to clear these hurdles, and achieve a happily-ever-after ending?
This novel contains a lot of profanities and crude sexual humor, so I don't recommend it for readers under the age of eighteen. It also includes a lot of divisive political rhetoric, so both conservatives and liberals need to be thick-skinned. But hopefully, readers from all tribes will find the love story to be charming and endearing.
John Kramer is a fifth-generation Kansas farmer. While attending college, he asks Jill Rabinovich out on a date, and the two of them quickly fall in love. But their relationship faces several daunting challenges. He is a rural Republican, and she is a suburban Democrat. He is Catholic, and she is Jewish. He wants her to become his farm wife, but she wants to move to L.A. after finishing her Bachelor’s degree in theater, in order to jump start her careers in stand-up comedy and acting. Is their relationship doomed? Or will they somehow manage to clear these hurdles, and achieve a happily-ever-after ending?
This novel contains a lot of profanities and crude sexual humor, so I don't recommend it for readers under the age of eighteen. It also includes a lot of divisive political rhetoric, so both conservatives and liberals need to be thick-skinned. But hopefully, readers from all tribes will find the love story to be charming and endearing.

My second novel, A White Lily and a Teddy Bear, was published in June of 2021. It's a mixture. There is a lot of humor, but there are also some rather poignant scenes. There are some very intellectually stimulating discussions of politics and religion. But there are also lots of profanities and some juvenile flatulence and bowel movement humor. There is no sex, but there is plenty of crude sexual humor.
On September 11, 2001, Don Ciccone’s pregnant wife was at work near the top of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Two years later, Don is still grieving. In fact, he frequently converses with his deceased wife in his head. Will he not be able to fall in love again until he completes his grieving process? Or is he unable to complete his grieving process because he hasn’t yet fallen in love again? His new engineering coworker may force him to find out. She is empathetic and kind-hearted, an intelligent conversationalist, and her shampoo smells like apples and cinnamon.
A month ago, Rachel Ward was attending her graduation ceremony at UConn with no job offers in hand. Now, she’s starting her new job at Brooklyn Navy Yard Precision Manufacturing, searching for an apartment in Brooklyn, and crushing on a mature Italian coworker. Wow! Life is moving really fast! After her immature college boyfriend broke up with her because she quit the College Republicans, she vowed that her next boyfriend would be a lot more mature. But is she ready to date a man who is eager to start a family?
On September 11, 2001, Don Ciccone’s pregnant wife was at work near the top of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Two years later, Don is still grieving. In fact, he frequently converses with his deceased wife in his head. Will he not be able to fall in love again until he completes his grieving process? Or is he unable to complete his grieving process because he hasn’t yet fallen in love again? His new engineering coworker may force him to find out. She is empathetic and kind-hearted, an intelligent conversationalist, and her shampoo smells like apples and cinnamon.
A month ago, Rachel Ward was attending her graduation ceremony at UConn with no job offers in hand. Now, she’s starting her new job at Brooklyn Navy Yard Precision Manufacturing, searching for an apartment in Brooklyn, and crushing on a mature Italian coworker. Wow! Life is moving really fast! After her immature college boyfriend broke up with her because she quit the College Republicans, she vowed that her next boyfriend would be a lot more mature. But is she ready to date a man who is eager to start a family?